call me a hermit

I am trying to make the most of my time here, but when I truly think about it, I never planned on enjoying it. It's funny, I've always wanted to do it, but I never looked forward to how much "fun" it would be. Maybe that's why I'm not really allowing it to be as "fun" as it could be, i.e., I don't go hang with volunteers every weekend. I live in the city--there are around 10 volunteers here, and no one can understand why I choose to not hang around Americans all the time. Hmm...I envisioned it as a time of introspection and soul-searching...is it that? It is, I think...I do realize new things about myself and my desires on a regular basis. And from past experience, I know that I can't look as deeply into myself as I want if I'm around people, particularly Americans who are reminders of the "real" life I left behind, which is why this experience for so long has seemed like the perfect chance to get away and finally get to know the one person who I've never been able to figure out--me. While I am making the most of this time, I'm also very much looking forward to emerging from this self-sentenced "moral isolation" so that I can put to use what I've learned, both about myself and the big, scary world.