the golden rule

I don't think it's dangerous to be sincere. It might hurt, and might get you into some un-fun situations--I know I've messed up my share of relationships because of my bluntness. But I truly believe that everything works out for the better when we're all honest with one another. Or at least, it's supposed to work out for the better.

I try to be honest in all my relationships. If I like you, you'll know it. If something sours our relationship, well, you'll know that too. And if it's actually something that we can't get over and things are going bad, then it might be time for the relationship to change...or end...as all relationships do at some point.

But if the relationship is actually still healthy--just temporarily bruised for whatever reason, a misunderstanding perhaps, my acknowledgement of the "bruise" often permanently scars the relationship, sending it downhill, where it eventually plateaus into the monotony of a shallow aquaintanceship that isn't fulfilling for anyone involved. WHY? Maybe I grew up with the wrong idea of what friendships were, and I could accept that, but I would be dumbfounded for the rest of my life because I would always think that I was living by the golden rule. THE golden rule. The one that we all learned in kindergarten as a foundation for our personal ethics that taught us to treat others as we wanted to be treated.

I think that may be my problem. I AM living by that outdated rule. Who does that in this day and age where all people care about is money...and themselves? I think I should change, and adapt to the sad reality in which I live, but something inside me just won't let me. I think I might end up as the only person on earth who truly did learn all that she needed to know in kindergarten. :::sigh::::::

Did that make any sense?

the manual

"Life would be so much easier if everyone read the manual."

I read that on a church sign as I drove home today. I know it was referring to the Bible, but what if there was one? Would it make life easier? In some ways, I guess it would. Awkward moments in life would no longer exist (although I'm not sure that's a good thing), and we'd always know how to react when life throws us curveballs. But then we would have clear expectations of what life should be like, wouldn't we? And if greater expectations provide more opportunities for disappointment, then is a manual such a good thing? The satisfaction that we all search for in life would be even more difficult to find, I think.

But if there was a manual, I wonder what it would say about human relationships. To merely say they're complicated would be an understatement. What more would it say?

All these random thoughts pass through my mind as I drive home from work, and I'm like, "Oh I should write these down." But do I? Nope. I even made this blog for myself to make it easier and still nothing. I feel myself becoming a procrastinator in even this, something recreational for my own well-being. I want to write about what happened in Montana and then later in Canada, but I've mentally moved past all that, so I just don't write. And then I just feel like I can't write about what's on my mind now because I still have the stuff from before to put down.... If this blog's to be my therapy, I can't keep feeling like it has to be well-organized because my mind's just not like that. So I'm starting it again...haha.

canada

I'm going to Canada, or as I like to call it, Canadia... I'll update when I get back. ;) (yeah, right...)